THE 13+1 STANDPOINTS
of the
HUNGARIAN GARLIC FRONT
 
Official brochure of the Hungarian Garlic Front’s Department of Propaganda and Ideology
 
 

 
The three eternal verities::
I. The GARLIC is one, since it has got no plural form.
II. The GARLIC shan’t be written with a „k”.
III. IN GARLIC VERITAS.
 
  1. A Hungarlic stays always a Hungarian Garlic. Those, who had to emigrate, fight for the same Eternal Garlic.
  2. We resist to the pressure of the Western lila- and Eastern red onion! The true Hungarlic breathes on every Chinese garlic grower and foreign onion!
  3. We will stop the spreading of the Chinese garlic! We will not let them plant anymore!
  4. Creating our own Garmy! Let’s declare immediately war towards the lower world of the onions. We will cooperate with the Arabian celeries. We breathe at the Scentlesses, and their lands shall be hammered by warrior goats.
  5. The Hungarlic culture will rise again! We’ll fight against the vampires in the bookshops, theaters and cinemas!
  6. National holidays: 11th February (when the Scentlesses expelled us from Mongolia), 4th June (World Day of Clovemen), 26th July (Day of the Garmy)
  7. We demand to set the original, garlicful Pater Noster back! Garlic water instead of sacred water! Every kippah and turban should have the shape of a garlic!
  8. We liquidate everything based in Makó, which has no connection to the garlic! This nation is based on it!
  9. Every pensioner should get his/her own garlic-plantation! We give garlics to the starving!
  10. We support home birth.
  11. Hungarian garlic for the Hungarian toast! The following dishes will receive state funding: French garlic soup, barbecued garlic, garlic with youghourt, lángos with garlic and cream. The garlic pálinka is the new hungaricum!
  12.  Our mascot is the goat, because it smells. We also like the badger and the swine, but we can’t have three mascots at the same time, so we had to decide. Sorry.
  13. Anschluss Being smelly together with Mongolia!
 
We kill everyone, who is smellier, than we are!
 
Budapest, 26th January 2011
 
The Undersigned:
the President,
and the Vice-President

 of the Hungarian Garlic Front’s Department of Propaganda and Ideology 

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